I really don't know where to start. Went there to see some miraculous changes but came back with a shocking realisation that I no longer can hide my head in the sand. Haven't even updated my blog because of my head being just a big mess..
Due to my location I started to head "home" four pm on Monday, spent my night in the airport and arrived three pm on Tuesday my ex blushingly greeting me in the Tallinn Airport. He really made me laugh cos he just don't do emotions and I could see how he didn't know how to be or what to say..nor did I. So after a long and suffocating hug we walked out automatically holding hands and lighted quickly our cigarettes (though non of us smoked before I left). There we were -peering each other as looking for some evidence of major changes which we couldn't find. Many thanks to him as he drove me around all the places I needed to go and I managed to go every where I planned..hm except my dad's place. Well..better luck next time.
But yeah..the thing is that I confronted some issues I was avoiding before and no I'm in a point where I'm looking for a job in England..so bye bye my little trip I planned.
Anyway - my plane didn't crash, I didn't have any physical intercourse with my ex (very much to my surprise), hugged my mom (plus absolutely everyone I saw..a number of times), defused a bottle of wine with my granny..another one with my sister..another one with my "spiritual guide" (who really needs one for herself..and I thought I'm a mess..), unidentified amounts of sherry and wine with my in-law..and approx the same amount of unidentified liquid with my strange yet essential friends, a pint of mulled wine with an old family friend and lots of NORMAL coffee, had some frightening reflections and outpourings.
I am coming back to reflect on this week long yourney that guided me to the decisions I made or am just about to make. I'll be back to give all the details which are helpful in understanding.
Due to my location I started to head "home" four pm on Monday, spent my night in the airport and arrived three pm on Tuesday my ex blushingly greeting me in the Tallinn Airport. He really made me laugh cos he just don't do emotions and I could see how he didn't know how to be or what to say..nor did I. So after a long and suffocating hug we walked out automatically holding hands and lighted quickly our cigarettes (though non of us smoked before I left). There we were -peering each other as looking for some evidence of major changes which we couldn't find. Many thanks to him as he drove me around all the places I needed to go and I managed to go every where I planned..hm except my dad's place. Well..better luck next time.
But yeah..the thing is that I confronted some issues I was avoiding before and no I'm in a point where I'm looking for a job in England..so bye bye my little trip I planned.
Anyway - my plane didn't crash, I didn't have any physical intercourse with my ex (very much to my surprise), hugged my mom (plus absolutely everyone I saw..a number of times), defused a bottle of wine with my granny..another one with my sister..another one with my "spiritual guide" (who really needs one for herself..and I thought I'm a mess..), unidentified amounts of sherry and wine with my in-law..and approx the same amount of unidentified liquid with my strange yet essential friends, a pint of mulled wine with an old family friend and lots of NORMAL coffee, had some frightening reflections and outpourings.
I am coming back to reflect on this week long yourney that guided me to the decisions I made or am just about to make. I'll be back to give all the details which are helpful in understanding.
No comments:
Post a Comment