Haven't seen my family or friends for nine months by now..Sometimes it feels like forever and a day but then again it feels like I just left yesterday.
THE Day is getting closer and closer and I'm getting more nervous day by day. Feels strange to go back. Usually I'm as cool as a cucumber but now..it's scaring the hell out of me..Don't really want to confront my shadows...but I have to. And I DO NOT like flying!
I'm going for a week and I haven't got a clue what I'm going to do with this week. Of course there is some "must dos" such as:
Visiting mum. My leaving was quite bizarre. I went to her place to say goodbye and so on..didn't stay for long cos I just couldn't - this place gives me creeps. Always has. By chance I forgot my phone inside and my mum ran out to give it back and at that very moment something unpredictable happened - she hugged me. My mum hugged me and we were both in tears. I snapped back and left..Nothing special, you may say, but for me ..well ..after all these unspoken and drawing away years, it's the first decent hug I can recall.
Grandparents. They're living in a small two bedroom flat. My granny, granddad, aunt, her two sons, occasionally her husband, occasionally my sister and usually my other two little siblings.. and when my mum's partner looses himself in a drink then it's her lodging as well. Granny's suffering with osteoporosis and my granddad was in the hospital when I left. He had a tumour under his tongue..after a while they discovered another one. I want to see them. Despite all the hirdum-dirdum, lack of space, granddad's alcohol abuse - I miss all of it!
Some friends .
My ex... well..we all know what's going to happen there ;) hopefully
Sisters, brothers.
In-laws. ..
A women who wants to kick my ass or something like that..I have to admit that she's got her reasons..
Some really, really good friends to catch up with their latest home made wines.
And hopefully my dad as well. It's always funny to visit him because he's an alcoholic as well and I usually have to explain twice that I came to visit him -first in the evening and second time in the morning because he can't commonly remember anything from previous night. What a funny man.
Guess I would make more sense when I'll write after coming back..
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