staff parties are evil! Dead Monday.

when God is silent and we are blind

In November's Christianity magazine John Buckeridge talks about our restricted myopic compassion and mentions that God calls on you and me to have a varifocal lens of love that can care for the near , middle distant and far away.
As much as I try , as much as I care, as much as I need.. I can not persuade myself to agree with the need to widen my circle of compassion. I have no more compassion left.
Life has turned into a constant fight to tame my compassion so I could actually think about myself, so I could enjoy a drop of fresh water in the nature without thinking about the consequences of marketing bottled water and thirsty Haitians; about the little misunderstandings between South Korea and North Korea; about Coca Cola's purified tap water Dasani they launched in 1999 etc, etc.
Am I being selfish? I think I am. But why not..
"The silence of God is one thing, but the silence of half of the world while the other half starves to death is quite another"
What can I say. That's how it is and always will be. THERE IS NO ROOM FOR ALL OF US ANYWAY! Why is it so hard to understand that?
Next to those slightly depressing articles I found one quite amusing one - A reader's concerned letter about using sex toys.
"Is it OK for Christians to use sex toys?"
I mean, Jesus-fucking- Christ, did Jesus masturbate , I would ask?!!
Maggie Ellis claims that God has given us all we need within our natural bodies and minds to fully satisfy and bless because that is His design..and that we absolutely do not need sex toys nor will they make our sex life better. But she recommends to incorporate toys to making love TOGETHER..
But what about single occupancy in bed, should we not give ourselves the pleasure to enjoy our own company, to give a helping hand to release the stress and feel that cosmic power that a decent orgasm releases?
I think we do and if that means that I'll have to purchase myself a whole new box of toys..then that's what I'll do.
And so should You!
:)
Long live toys!

chin up!

Just something very motivating we have on our staff kitchen wall..

Jerry is the manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood.

When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply:

“If I were any better, I would be twins!”

Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs, so they could follow him
around from restaurant to restaurant

Why?

If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there, telling him how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Because Jerry was a natural motivator.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him:

“I don’t get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?”

Jerry replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood.

I always choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be victim or I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose the positive side of life.”

“But it’s not always that easy,” I protested.

“Yes it is,” Jerry said.

“Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk every situation is a choice.

You choose how you react to situations.

You choose how people will affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood.

It’s your choice how you live your life.”

Several years later,

I heard that Jerry accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business.

He left the back door of his restaurant open

And then in the morning, he was robbed by three armed men.

While Jerry trying to open the safe box, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination.

The robbers panicked and shot him.

Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.…

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins.Want to see my scars?”

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.

“The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” Jerry replied.

“Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or could choose to die. I chose to live.”

Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine.

But when they wheeled me into the Emergency Room and I saw the expression on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.

In their eyes, I read

„He’s a dead man..

I knew I needed to take action.”

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me,” said Jerry. “She asked if I was allergic to anything.”

‘Yes,’ to bullets, I replied.

Over their laughter, I told them: “I am choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.”

“Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.

I learned from him that every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life or to hate it.

The only thing that is truly yours -that no one can control or take from you –is your attitude, so if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.

Caledonian Canal in Fort Augustus

updating the location and talking about modern slavery

It was a little bit too much to hope that some of this great technology worked..
The view from my door - straight down!
I'm not sure but I think it was meant to be kitchen corner..under the staircase opposite the toilet
This place under the staircase is a place where to get yourself ready to work..it's a shame you can't see the autumn leaves on the floor and feel th ecold breeze or smell the stink coming from the toilet/shower next door...
This is the room where I had to climb in through the window. Very pleasantly clean

The door from my room..the lock was broken and I had to put a plastic bag to keep the door shut..because of the draft..And from that picture you can see how clean it was on my arrival and how welcoming filthy mattrass was waiting for me...



As my job finished with the season in Mallaig I spent a week doing pretty much nothing and enjoying it. Then looked for a job.

I was offered a place back in England. In a brand hotel. The Green King's chain. A hotel belonging to Old English Inns ..In Cotswolds. Everything sounds quite nice, doesn't it? It's a lovely hotel.. The Old Manse..( http://www.oldmansehotel-gloucestershire.co.uk/ ), The front of the house seemed great. Because it's quite long way down there from the Highlands, I phoned them up to ask some questions before I go all this way down ..and perhaps for nothing. After the phone call everything seemed to be just perfect. I was even told to take all my belongings so I could move right in..
The phone call was on Sunday.
I hopped on the train on Monday morning.
Got to Birmingham eight pm. Stayed over at my friends. And then went to Bourton-on-the-water. And it was a long ridiculous joke!
After still having to fill in a job application and having a stupid interview as I applied for a director's place I was told that they actually haven't got the advertised position and I was offered some alternatives..and then I was sent away with words that they have few more interviews and they will call me.
So I went to a B&B and then I had a call in the evening and was asked to come straight away. I stayed in the B&B and told them that I'm coming in the morning. when I went there in the morning ..no one knew that there's a new person coming..so after waiting for hours in the lounge for further instructions I was sent to the staff house..and after that I made up my mind within three hours that I don't have to go through this..as much as I needed the job..
I was sitting in my "room" on my "bed"..having to climb in through a window (no keys)..I couldn't unpack my belongings. I went back to the hotel and talked to some of the kitchen staff (no sign of the manager)..and I heard some interesting things about working there..such as not having a day off for three weeks already for some people..and so one..
Finally I found an assistant manager, a young lady who was very helpful and concerned about my decision. I asked whether she had ever seen the staff house , she said no. And I showed her.She understood me..and said that she wouldn't be staying there either. Then she told that she had just started three day ago and she had already done 30 hours..with three days.
And I left..
Fortunately I had a place to stay for as long as I needed to. The place I used to be volunteer took me in.I stayed there from Wednesday til Sunday. Because I got a new place back in Scotland!! I actually thought that I was overreacting a bit about the place in Cotswolds because I didn't want to stay in England ..but I wasn't ..
And now I am back in Scotland and had my first working day again!

But the saddest thing is that someone is most likely already living there in this filthy room and earning one's pennies., Oh, nearly forgot - they charge for the accomodation 23 or was it 27 pounds a week! :)and there is no Internet connection in the room and phone coverige was agains the window..So if You would like to work there- they are looking for a new slave.

Paolo Nutini - These Streets (With Lyrics)

Btw I got my first response to all of the job applications I've sent. it was negative. But it was a response! that's a start!
So I'm not going to Channel Islands.

being busy with doing nothing

I've been unemployed since Tuesday.
I've heard that the suicide rate amongst unemployed is the highest.
I am unemployed
And I'm god damn happy about it!
I hear people going to work in the morning. Putting the cettle on and rubbing their sore eyes, trying to convince them that it's wise to stay open from now on..
And I'm in bed..
Still in bed..
And I quite enjoy it.
But I wouldn't like to do it for too long.
I shall pull myself together and do something..or go to somewhere.
Oh, I went to Inverness one day. I was planning to stay there for two days..but I came back with the next bus. It was HORRIBLE! No one said to me that theres like..people in there and I mean like loads of them..it was far too big for me..no familiar smiles nor faces, no one calling my name and waving bye or hi..just grey samelooking people, with filthy cigarettes in their hands, extra pounds trying to fight with gravity and red cheeked children staring their iPods or whatever consoles..and just grey and miserable..bouring down rain...
I was lost.
So I rushed back home, my housemates waiting for me. Put on Friends , filled our wine glasses and set ourselves comfortably in front of the fireplace. And I was home.