There's something I've been postponing to write down for days. It's about a very dear person in my life, the dearest friend I've ever had. You might recall her from my very first entry .
As she came to Scotland , she met someone and this someone turned out to be a real Someone. not just anyone but The One..if you know what I mean..
From there on she has been trying to visualize him to me over the phone and messages and Skype..and the picture I created in my mind wasn't the nicest one I could have wished for her..but...then again-it's her choice in the end..and as long as she's happy - I'm happy!
Maybe I was just doing my regular subconscious jealousy trick (can I still call it subconscious when I'm quite aware of it?)..You see..first there was only two people who really understood her, who had her as their own..I know it sounds a bit bitter and not very right..
And one of them was me, will always be me...and having the other participant out of sight (due to the changing chemistry in our bodies and minds)..for a while - there was only me..And Me only!
And I liked it. She means a lot to me.
Does that sound very bad..
And then came The Third Think-I-Know-You-As-Well..And I didn't like that. Not at all...For me it equals - she doesn't need me anymore..which is not a very pleasant feeling and I know it's not true either and I'm being very selfish thinking like this..
But I can't really help myself having those thoughts.
By now the situation between two of them has dramatically developed into something rather ..solid and the love birds are going to spread their wings and take off to a little euro trip. . .
so I went down to Glasgow to check the guy out and to see her. Cos, God knows when I'll see her again..haha well actually I think quite soon..somewhere in Europe ;)
Anyway
See, that's the problem..I'm quite lost in here.I don't know what to say..or what to think..You know when someone is so obvious or so..designated to be part of your life, it doesn't feel as if I've lost her now. I know for sure that she's a keeper..even independent of my will.
It's like having a sister going on a holiday..but she'll be back one day and then we'll catch up and have a cup of tea and get very nostalgic and then tell each other how we're like old folks and so on. There is no pretending between us.
That's it!!!
She's not just a friend.
She is much more than that.
She is part of my family.And if I think about it - has always been. And you can't change your family members, they will always stay!
I will miss you, Anu and hope to see you soon and of course your absolutely lovely, gentle, sincere and fun partner!!!
Wish You unforgettable trip and take care of each other :)
As she came to Scotland , she met someone and this someone turned out to be a real Someone. not just anyone but The One..if you know what I mean..
From there on she has been trying to visualize him to me over the phone and messages and Skype..and the picture I created in my mind wasn't the nicest one I could have wished for her..but...then again-it's her choice in the end..and as long as she's happy - I'm happy!
Maybe I was just doing my regular subconscious jealousy trick (can I still call it subconscious when I'm quite aware of it?)..You see..first there was only two people who really understood her, who had her as their own..I know it sounds a bit bitter and not very right..
And one of them was me, will always be me...and having the other participant out of sight (due to the changing chemistry in our bodies and minds)..for a while - there was only me..And Me only!
And I liked it. She means a lot to me.
Does that sound very bad..
And then came The Third Think-I-Know-You-As-Well..And I didn't like that. Not at all...For me it equals - she doesn't need me anymore..which is not a very pleasant feeling and I know it's not true either and I'm being very selfish thinking like this..
But I can't really help myself having those thoughts.
By now the situation between two of them has dramatically developed into something rather ..solid and the love birds are going to spread their wings and take off to a little euro trip. . .
so I went down to Glasgow to check the guy out and to see her. Cos, God knows when I'll see her again..haha well actually I think quite soon..somewhere in Europe ;)
Anyway
See, that's the problem..I'm quite lost in here.I don't know what to say..or what to think..You know when someone is so obvious or so..designated to be part of your life, it doesn't feel as if I've lost her now. I know for sure that she's a keeper..even independent of my will.
It's like having a sister going on a holiday..but she'll be back one day and then we'll catch up and have a cup of tea and get very nostalgic and then tell each other how we're like old folks and so on. There is no pretending between us.
That's it!!!
She's not just a friend.
She is much more than that.
She is part of my family.And if I think about it - has always been. And you can't change your family members, they will always stay!
I will miss you, Anu and hope to see you soon and of course your absolutely lovely, gentle, sincere and fun partner!!!
Wish You unforgettable trip and take care of each other :)
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