"He thought with a kind of astonishment of the biological uselessness of pain and fear, the treachery of the human body which always freezes into inertia at exactly the moment when a special effort is needed" (Nineteen eighty-four by G. Orwell).
For me it seems to be the treachery of my very own mind which refuses to escape..the inertia becomes the strongest when I lie next to Her. Should I stop? Should I turn my back and walk away?
I can't
We didn't have to talk
Words won't do any good. it's all in the eyes. It's all in the smiles. It's our unsaid agreement that there is no need to fight against it. Let it be as long as it is..It won't be long. I'm planning to leave in February...and She's going back in June. So where's the problem :) !!
I decided to leave first because I couldn't see Her leaving. I know I couldn't. Even if I keep on saying that it's just for fun. everything is just for fun. Life is our biggest entertainment.
When I slapped my manager..it was just for fun and the next few times..it was just for fun as well. He's a real arsehole.
We all had a nice evening getaway in one of the staff rooms when we all got a bit pissed and he took me down to the bar to "talk about his marriage"..which has lasted for six whole fucking months..and he came on to me. And I slapped him. And he didn't stop. And I slapped him voh so very hard ..again and again..til he was so ashamed of himself and begging me to understand.. I will never let things like that happen again. Never. I'm so much stronger than I used to be. Then I walked away, leaving him right there..on the floor, squirming in his shame. Haven't seen him since..Bastard
I think I'll ask references from him. He will give them to me. good ones. He will.
I have reached to a mental state where my senses are on the highest level. And it's when I'm with Her. I told Her that I want to be with Her only when we're both sober. And it works. I can feel absolutely every tiny emotion in my body. I can feel the bits of electricity flashing from my head to toe tips. I can count Her heart beat, the rhythm of Her breathing.. I can feel Her excitement. Her electricity..I want to remember every corner of Her body, every word She whispers, every touch. And I want Her to remember. I want to have it all with full consciousness.
And I can
And it's indescribable
For me it seems to be the treachery of my very own mind which refuses to escape..the inertia becomes the strongest when I lie next to Her. Should I stop? Should I turn my back and walk away?
I can't
We didn't have to talk
Words won't do any good. it's all in the eyes. It's all in the smiles. It's our unsaid agreement that there is no need to fight against it. Let it be as long as it is..It won't be long. I'm planning to leave in February...and She's going back in June. So where's the problem :) !!
I decided to leave first because I couldn't see Her leaving. I know I couldn't. Even if I keep on saying that it's just for fun. everything is just for fun. Life is our biggest entertainment.
When I slapped my manager..it was just for fun and the next few times..it was just for fun as well. He's a real arsehole.
We all had a nice evening getaway in one of the staff rooms when we all got a bit pissed and he took me down to the bar to "talk about his marriage"..which has lasted for six whole fucking months..and he came on to me. And I slapped him. And he didn't stop. And I slapped him voh so very hard ..again and again..til he was so ashamed of himself and begging me to understand.. I will never let things like that happen again. Never. I'm so much stronger than I used to be. Then I walked away, leaving him right there..on the floor, squirming in his shame. Haven't seen him since..Bastard
I think I'll ask references from him. He will give them to me. good ones. He will.
I have reached to a mental state where my senses are on the highest level. And it's when I'm with Her. I told Her that I want to be with Her only when we're both sober. And it works. I can feel absolutely every tiny emotion in my body. I can feel the bits of electricity flashing from my head to toe tips. I can count Her heart beat, the rhythm of Her breathing.. I can feel Her excitement. Her electricity..I want to remember every corner of Her body, every word She whispers, every touch. And I want Her to remember. I want to have it all with full consciousness.
And I can
And it's indescribable
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