"My darling Hershe,
I've gone up to the North beach to figure out some answers for the questions I've been keeping in the back of my head, so I could see more clearly why exactly has the path led me into this place and why have I met the people I've met.
And to reassure to myself that the sacrifice (being here) is worth making in order to make our goal to come true.
But there's something I've been wanting to tell you. We have becoming the victims of person addiction.
Let me explain.
I love you. I really do and without doubting you, I know that you love me too. I trust that feeling. And this trust will keep us away from becoming jealous which leads to betrayal and from there on to hatred til we can't stand the sight of each other anymore. And only because we loved each other so much and became addicted of one another.
What I'm trying to say is that we have to let go of addiction so we are not stopping each other from evolving and growing as two individuals.
What I'm talking about is the paralysing feeling when one is waiting the other to come home. And that's all we can do. Because we can't function before the other one is close enough. But we must become over that, cos it is not letting us to live, sorry, to enjoy every moment we have on earth.
We have to learn that.
I want you to block out the feeling of anxiety when I'm not around. Then you have two options:
1) come and see me (meet me)
2)or go out and be open to what ever the day has to offer or be creative or productive or just take time for yourself. Indulge in yourself.

Anything but STOP WAITING.
And I'll try to do the same.
I have to admit that this is not easy because I'm constantly thinking of you, wishing you were here. So I could just feel your presence.
But being like this is cutting us out of the rest of the world. I hope you don't take this message in a wrong way. And when we see each other again I hope I can explain more clearly.
I love and can't wait to see you, to hold you, to see your familiar smile, to hear your voice and smell your skin.

Meanwhile.
I'll be up on the North Coast. Perhaps reading my book,
watching the waves.
Maybe meeting someone interesting to talk to.
I don't know.
Maybe I'll take a bottle of wine with me and two glasses (one for you in case you decide to come up there) or just in case someone else comes, so I could share my wine and start up a conversation by offering a glass of wine.
Interaction with other people is so very important as I've learned from the last week or two. I will explain that one to you later on. It involves Charlie and the reason I've met him. And what he has taught me without even realizing it himself.
I've been thinking about him a lot, about our conversations and the amount of time I've spent thinking about him. it was scaring me.
But today I realised why it all had happened. And I can't wait to explain that to you.
Hershe,
I am so grateful that you have let me to love you because love doesn't just happen - love needs to be given a chance..the green light.
If I don't see you on the beach, I will see you in the evening after you finish work.
Think about what I said (wrote) and try to understand what I meant.
The last thing I want to happen to us is us suffocating our love and not meaning to do that.I want to love you consciously and work towards supporting each others personal growth and self discoveries.
Love,
Chica"

that's my letter to Hershe..things didn't turn out as well as I hoped...

to be continued..