black eyed beans and potatoes

Working as a waitress, one witnesses and plays along with multiple simple structured and well-known domestic abuse scenes.

The most common of all them diverges as follows: a merry and (what it seems) a carefree couple in their mid forties, having a casual yet a bit romantic lunch out. Holding hands may be involved. While the greeting and oh-what-a-lovely-whether-we-have-today chit chat plus taking the order process, the female party of the pair of two, is knowingly (or perhaps denyingly) showing off her newest accessory – the black eye.

Every time I find myself in a situation like this, I'm always standing there and being quite a bit bewildered by the preposterous act we're all in, by the smiles, the politeness and the “there's-nothing-wrong-in-the-picture” situation. Though we all KNOW what's going on...I mean – one has to be not so very bright to crack this one through..eehm..hence the eye..did you fell down the stairs again, Sue?

But what's behind this public act? Why does she go along with the theatre? Why are we all playing along?

My highly analysed theory (read out – thought about it during another sleepless night after a unit of home remedy was consumed) says that women stay in a relationship and what's more – go along with those acts , because these so called public acts are the only moments when she empowers the abuser, when she towers over him. When she is superior because he, he is crawling under the burden of guilt.

What usually, emphasising USUALLY, happens after a common domestic violence incident is that the abuser party feels quite guilty and is trying to bring down all the stars in the sky to make up for it, making him feel like on of the lowest of the low. And she knows it. Oh and she knows it well.

The more public and crowded the place – the bigger the pressure on the fist hero.

And it's the highlight of the week for her...or the highlight of the day..depending on the necessity to decrease the burden on his shoulders.

Bear in mind that it's purely my personal opinion..maybe the guys with heavy notebooks and glasses have something else to say and I got it all wrong.

And why are we making a face as nothing's wrong – because we have worries our own....we can't be bothered getting involved in something a bit more complicated than the dilemma whether to buy skimmed or semi skimmed milk..

Too inconvenient..too personal..