It's not the matter of whether HE exists or not. It's the matter of believing. and I came to a terrible realisation that if it' s the matter of believing then it's the matter of imagination..and if it's the matter of imagination...then... "Everything you can imagine is real" ...
And then comes the little paradox..I imagine, therefore it's real. But it's only my imagination..then it does not exist!!
And I had some hope that if I could find a way to believe, my existential anxiety would fade away..but now - it's even worse!! There's no point! even the necessity to discuss whether He exists or not has no point anymore..
Have to start all over again..
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